when I am not writing poetry

by Pey Pey Oh

I am stalking Neil Gaiman on Twitter,
I know when he’s cutting his crazy hair;
when he walks his white dog Cabal and his
new puppy Lola;
when he saw bear shit in the Minnesotan woods.

I know that he’s been stung by the bees four times - that’s once a year
since he’s had them, or mopping up fountain pen spills on his front pocket,
I know when he is oiling pigs with his mate Wossy
and I know he only wears black T-shirts and
hates shopping for clothes. And I always know
when he’s got a tux on.

I know when he’s flying out to meet his
fiancèe Amanda Palmer who might be dressing
up right now as half a Siamese twin called Evelyn
or if he’s playing the tambourine, or the chain saw
with her at the Boston Pops, or kissing her in Poland;
I stalk them both so I can see when they tweet
“I love you” or when she hands out
pink peonies from a bouquet from his publishers,
to random Londoners.

So today I am writing poetry and stalking Neil Gaiman
on Twitter, so I know he was following the news
on Russian spy rings in New Jersey infiltrating
the PTA and the fact that in South Carolina
you must register and file a form for $5 if you wish to
overthrow the government,
But really I am thinking I’d like to try the recipe
he tweeted for cherry crumble with a whole stick of butter,
so when I am not writing poetry for the rest of today:
I’ll be baking.

© Pey Pey Oh 2010

Pey Pey Oh has been published in various small magazines along the way, like the ones universities publish, or Magma. Mainly she has a problem sending out things by snail mail, so if she can't hand it to you or send you an email, she's in trouble. She likes plants a lot, especially if they're aromatic, but she's really bad at watering them. Good thing it rains a lot in UK where she lives. She likes coming and hanging out with the Malaysian Poets once a year when she visits home, and loves to read at Readings. Plus, she also likes to go eating with the Food Bloggers, that's her other best activity which makes her feel more Malaysian. One of her ambitions is that she'd like to be "Awae wi' tha faeries" - and that's with a Scots accent - but mostly she's a lazy cat that needs a kicking by her friends to send out stuff. So, she thanks everyone.